"BAM" Revelation and prayers for rain :)

So I’m gonna be honest. This whole “competition” thing is wiggin me out. At first I was like I’m gonna win this. Then it went to we are all winners. We are all getting trainers, a gym membership for the 9 weeks and the support from all my friends and new found friends from the challenge so who cares who wins really. We all lose weight etc….. THEN knowing they are posting the weight loss numbers on www.kcfitmag.com tomorrow makes me anxious. I know I had a good weight loss, but they don’t go by weight loss, they go by weight loss %PERCENTAGE%. So that makes the game totally different ya know? I am not a competitive person by nature. Don’t have a competitive bone in my body. I know some people in this challenge have even said jokingly or not so jokingly lol that they were going to beat me bad and I replied with I hope you do. I hope you lose so much weight. I say that b/c I KNOW the struggle, I know the frustration of your pants getting tight or not fitting at all. I know the sadness of looking at your skinny friends wearing cute clothes. I know what it feels like to be the “your have such a beautiful face, if only..girl). So in my heart I was like I don’t care who wins. I want all of us to be better, look better, feel better for not just this 9 weeks, but for the rest of our lifetime. BUT…the anxiousness of seeing the results is about to drive me batty (even more batty). I know regardless of who it is in front of me it’s gonna be a twinge of “ugh”. Not because I don’t like them..but I have met the GREATEST folks thru this. So super thankful, but b/c you know how hard YOU worked, you know how much you went WITHOUT to reach such a big weight loss you can’t help feel a little disappointment. I hope it pushes me, but I don’t want to get wrapped up in the competition. That’s just not me. I know people say use it to drive you and I’m sure it will but I don’t like how I feel with that spirit.

I posted on my Facebook page last night that I realized how hard this competition is gonna be and I had so many sweet people encourage me and strengthen my “poopout o meter.”  Such great folks I tell ya!

Then me and Erin walked 4 miles last night. I’m always fine until the 3rd mile and then I think the fun is over and I’m done playing. Luckily it was further to turn around and go back then to just keep trucking home  I didn’t go to bed til around 11:30pm and then I got up at 4am this morning to workout again. AHHHH I eat, workout, sleep, workout, eat, sleep, workout again. I’m not gonna lie, it gets old but I am LOVING the results. I never realized how super cool elevators were until I stopped taking them and climbing stairs. When I pass them every morning I can almost hear them say “Mandi come take a ride. There are mirrors in here. You can check your hair. You can relax while we take you up the floors.” Blah blah blah and I walk past them and begrudgingly go to the stairs. BUT this morning..I still huffed and puffed up them..but NOT as much. I’ve only been doing this for 9 days and I can tell a difference in my huff and puff!! How cool is that. It’s the little achievements ya know!! 

I had e-mailed my trainers this morning asking them who was gonna come over and stretch me b/c I hurt so bad and was whining on how I was discouraged blah blah..and they were both so wonderful in there responses. I AM SO BLESSED with my trainers. I think God hand picked them Himself!!! This was one of their responses…Mandi, One thing you must remember, is that all you can worry about is yourself. If you worry about yourself you'll do great. Compete with yourself first off. I want you to win the game of weight loss more than I want you to win the contest. The thing that would bother me most of all would be if you are in the challenge again next year. DO THE BEST YOU CAN DO!

Is that not awesome!! It was like BAM when he said “I want you to win the game of weight loss more than I want you to win the contest.” What am I in this for? Why did I put my weight out there for everyone to see? To win a contest or to win my LIFE back? Not to win 9 weeks of my life back. This is forever. Sure how much fun would this be to win!! I’m still gonna give 150%. But if I don’t learn the right methods NOW, I AM gonna be in this contest next year!! I don’t wanna be. I DON’T WANNA BE!!! I’ve heard there are people from all rounds of this Weight Loss Challenge that have gained some of their weight back already if not all of it. I don’t want that to be me. I have yo-yo’d all my life. I’m done with the yo yo. I want my life back, not just 9 weeks of it!!!!

So this morning for my workout, (Erin came again!!! Yahoo for Erin), I did a walk/jog on the treadmill for an hour. I jogged 1 min, walked 3 min, jogged 1, walked 3 etc for the whole hour. To some that is nothing to me it’s hUrge! I’m a big girl. Remember…289 lbs last time you heard  that’s a whole lotta something to be shakin on a treadmill. Lol I’ve never been able to walk/jog that long. That’s a big accomplishment for me. I did 3 ½ miles. I’m happy. I guess I did over a 5k and I didn’t even know it. I’ve walked it before but not walked/jogged it.

Tonight is Zumba!!!! It’s a Hip Hop Zumba so you know I’m super excited to shake my thang!!!! And then this sister is going to bed. I haven’t been getting enough sleep for what this challenge demands..so tonight it’s peace out folks!!!!

I meet with Sarah Friday morning at 6am. She told me that if the weather is nice we are working out outside. I HAVE NO DESIRE TO BE WITH HER OUTSIDE!!! God only knows what she’s gonna force me into, so I’m asking you nice lovely people to help me pray for rain! Just from 6am-7am. I know God is able!!! HEE HEE!!!!